Recently I got an explosion of thoughts, very lost... I even try to understand what kind of personality I have and I just feel this is what that got me into this situation. I'm an intuitive person yet a chess player. Having processing all the reasoning and facts but still wanting to do what I feel. I think it is this kind of personality that got me into troubles all the time.

Every time when there is two paths to choose, I will think of which paths to go for a long time but ended up creating the third path. Sometimes it is good but sometimes it is bad. But it is my choice... Haha!

What I am doing now is it really my choice, but I feel that I am doing the right things. To give what I think is prosperous for me to take up a burden. To give up what I like for something that I have not even learnt. Yes I prosper, I have done something but now I'm stuck. I feel that to disobey an elder's instruction is disrespect, but now I think I got to do so. If the two elders can be harmony, I got to choose one or give up both and do what I feel is right.

Sometimes I observing and considering situations, I feel that I'm not the one that should do this, however, feeling tells me that I am the one. Elders can give good advices, however when two clashes, whom shall I heed.

Now I just feel that sometimes choosing is not about been logical and intuitive but trusting. Just got reminded that I can always trust Him. Mine is what is limited but His is unlimited for time to time and the same yesterday, today and forever. I will not doing anything until I got a reply from Him, because I'm really lost.